Monday, August 30, 2010

I Love Adoption

I recently clicked on the “like” button for a Facebook group called “I Love Adoption.” I have discovered that several of the other members do not love adoption. In fact they loathe adoption. Most of these women had a negative adoption experience. Throughout the page these ladies mock and ridicule those who believe that adoption is a good thing. I know this from a first-hand experience of being mocked. To their defense, I will say some of their arguments point out legitimate and sometimes horrific failures of systems and people. Additionally, they remind us that the adopted child has often faced incredible losses and pain in life. Dr. Sherrie Eldridge, herself an adopted child and now a psychologist working in the field, has written:

As with most everything in life, adoption has positive and negative elements. None of us wants to acknowledge the negative, painful side-that is, loss. But the truth is, the very act of adoption is built upon loss. For the birth parents, the loss of their biological offspring, the relationship that could have been, a very part of themselves. For the adoptive parents, the loss of giving birth to a biological child, the child whose face will never mirror theirs. And for the adopted child, the loss of the birth parents, the earliest experience of belonging and acceptance. To deny adoption loss is to deny the emotional reality of everyone involved.[1]

How can I love adoption? Sin is the cause of pain and loss, not adoption. I am not suggesting there are certain people who are more sinful than others. What I am suggesting is that when sin entered into the world it affected the entire created order. We live in a fallen world. In a fallen world we have sin, death, and separation. Sin wages war against the very fabric of community. The family is just another casualty of this unrelenting enemy. When these ladies stand against sin they are in agreement with God. God is for truth and justice. God is for families staying together. But, God is also a master of bringing hope when it appears hope is gone. Sometimes God brings hope through adoption. I love adoption like I love redemption. Redemption is not necessary in a perfect world. I hate the sin in my life and in the world that made God’s loving redemption my only hope. But, I love God and His redemption. And I Love Adoption.

Because of Christ, Don

1.Eldridge, Sherrie Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wished Their Adopted Parents Knew (NY Dell Publishing, 1999), 4-5

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